THE CONFUSED HEART!!

                                 I'm lying here on the bed but the calmness which creeps into me every night has not shown up still! I have all day waited for the night so that it would handle my heart. But it has no effect!All day I behaved badly with my friends, specially Bhavya! I stayed silent all day. They took my silence as my another unusual mood-less day. Bhavya knew me very well. She knew that behind this silence I have a reason but she even knew that if  I ever wanted to tell I would tell her myself and if not probably I would never tell!. And she's right. I m not going to tell any of my friends. I choose to not to talk to control my emotions. The neck high emotions!!. If I talk I would start crying! I wouldn't make that big mistake to tell anything to them.I don't want to get them into this confusion of my mind n heart. What do I tell them that I that their friend has gone crazy? She is out her mind!
                                Yeah exactly! I m out of my mind. What m I thinking? How can even I get attracted to Abhigyan, love is the next thing? When knowing he thinks of me just as his bestie. Yes I know he relies on me shares all his problems even that between his girlfriend! How can I love him knowing he has a girlfriend n he's really into it? And even Sanjana loves him the same way. How can I even come between them? I don't want to come between them. It would deeply hurt him if they part n I dont want to see myself behind it! But same problem I m not able to control my attraction.. I have tried so so so many times but failed n that even miserably! 
                                I know, I remember I had said to myself long ago I would never let this love thing come between me n my Career, My Dream. I remember it. I remember it very very well. Its always there in my subconscious mind but its not helping me! This crying helps me nothing! I don't know y people say crying helps! After every such night I tell myself to make some distance till I get down from this. But whenever he says he needs me I melt down. This triggers me! Yeah again! I dont know what to do? I want to concentrate on my studies but this attraction makes that hard. Does anyone has any solution for my heart? I hate felling this.. I hate it!



(P.S Hi guys! I know m here after a long time but I had nothing on my mind for long time. This story is not related to me. I saw before that people relate my stories with me.Thanks for reading n commenting! Will try to be back soon. Till then bye n Take care! )